


Speechless

by fluffymusketeer



Series: 2018 Tumblr Drabbles [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bad Cheesecake Timing, Canon Universe, Crack, Drabble Collection, Erotic Bird Imagery, Garter Burn, Inappropriate Use of Titan!Eren, M/M, Sex Pollen, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 17:18:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13979856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffymusketeer/pseuds/fluffymusketeer
Summary: Levi and Eren discover some confusing new turn-ons. Drabble collection written for the Ereri Month of Love 2018, originally posted on tumblr.1. "X" Marks the Spot (Explore)2. Big Boy (Toys)3. Eren, My Eren (Pleasure)4. Speechless (Lingerie)





	1. "X" Marks the Spot (Explore)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [thisgirlsays22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisgirlsays22/pseuds/thisgirlsays22) for beta reading, do go check out her fabulous writing. These stories take place in a canon universe where no one important ever dies and curses don’t exist. The magic of writing! Enjoy :)

_Well, this is different_ , Levi muses.

He reaches up to snag Eren’s military issue sock from the high tree branch. He knows it is Eren’s sock, because Mikasa has stitched his name into the cotton. The early morning dewdrops have dampened the edges of the scratchy material. It’s a sorry sight.

Levi checks inside the sock – thank fuck it’s clean – and sure enough, he discovers another neatly folded square of paper. He fishes it out and stuffs the sock into his pocket, then scans the spidery ink for his next clue:

 _High up in a tree, y_ _ou stumbled on me._ _During winter last, in red I am cast._

“What the fuck, Eren?” he mutters to himself. 

He’s been at this for an hour now, waking up with the first rays of dawn to find a folded paper clue on the other side of the bed instead of the usual drooling scruff of a man. Trust Eren to plan something truly weird for their anniversary. No doubt his devious little friends helped him out too.

Levi trudges through the forest, the first carpets of spring bluebells dappled in sunlight and shadow all around him, and considers the clue. It takes him a while to work out, but eventually he uses his gear to fly up to the old robin’s nest he’s never quite forgotten the location of.

He’d knocked the nest out of the tree by accident during a training session the winter before last, and Eren had stumbled across Levi desperately trying to fix one of the fledgling’s wings. He’d gently coaxed the story of Isabel and her bird out of him, and it wasn’t long after that things had changed forever between them.

Levi crouches down, and he can see the nest has not been used this year. Instead there is the folded paper and requisite clue, attached to a slightly wilted red rose:

_Grown hollow am I, I reach for the sky. Not easily missed, where you and I first kissed._

Cheesy treasure hunt aside, Levi supposes this isn’t a bad way to spend a morning, zipping through the treetops, a cold breeze in his hair and the dew drops clinging to his eyelashes. Of course he’d  _rather_  be in bed getting his dick played with like a normal person on their anniversary… but it’s Eren, so Levi is determined to make the best of this silly, romantic treasure hunt he’s cooked up.

This tree is a little harder to find, largely because Levi’s memory of it is swallowed up by the shock of Eren’s tongue being shoved down his throat, overeager little idiot that he was. It wasn’t until he was a good ten or fifteen seconds into showing Eren how not to suffocate a person during a kiss that Levi had frozen and realised he was  _making out with Eren_.

There hadn’t been much hope of getting rid of him after that.

Levi pulls his cloak in tight as he alights on what he thinks is the right tree. Birds scatter from the branches into the cloudless sky, cawing in offense. Levi is momentarily distracted by the elegant beat of their wings as they catch the updrafts of warming air. Then he rolls his sleeves up and begins searching for the next clue.

He hopes there’s breakfast at the end of this treasure hunt, as his empty stomach gives a protesting growl.

In the end he finds the clue wedged deep inside the hollow of tree, and Levi flicks a beetle off his arm as he pulls it out. “Fucking disgusting. Thanks, Eren,” he mutters.

He reads the clue aloud. “As shallow as the ocean is deep, find me quick and you may keep. As calm as the ocean is wild, take care you are not beguiled.”

Levi leans against the tree bark, scowling into the leaves overhead.  _Beguiled?_  Clearly Eren had some help from Armin with these clues. And if Levi finds out Erwin had  _any_  prior knowledge of this little escapade, he’s going to make good on an array of threats over the years and throttle the bastard.

As he’s making his way to the lake, Levi spots something on the forest floor. With a burst of gas, he swings back around and glides down to inspect it further.

It’s Eren’s shirt.

He’d have half a mind to put a stop to Mikasa sewing name labels in Eren’s clothes, if it didn’t cheer her up so much. Whatever keeps his best soldier happy. Levi sheathes his gear and grabs the shirt off the ground. It’s still warm, and he’s very tempted to shove his face in it and breathe Eren in, but he won’t, because he’s nearly forty damn it.

His eyesight is still good though, he reflects, as he spies another item of clothing in the distance, draped carefully over the bluebells. The trail leads in the direction of the lake, and Levi’s interest in the game slowly evolves as he picks up Eren’s clothes from the forest floor; a little less annoyed, a little more heated.

The lake is an expanse of sparkling aquamarine, rich with winter snow melt, when Levi finally bursts out of the woods. He has an armful of clothes folded neatly under his arm, and a half-hard cock.

Half-hard becomes fully hard when he sees Eren standing knee deep and naked in the glistening waters of the lake. Facing away from Levi, the smooth muscles of his back are on full display. He appears to be watching the lake’s resident ducks and geese as they paddle around and flutter their wings. Ripples of water spread from where his firm thighs meet the blue-green waters, and tanned skin is reflected on the surface of the lake. “Fuck,” Levi hisses under his breath.

Maybe getting up early wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

“You couldn’t have folded your damn clothes?” he calls out.

Eren peers over his shoulder and smiles. “You took your time,” he calls back.

Levi stomps down to the lake shore, ready to start shucking some clothes of his own. There is nowhere to hang Eren’s stuff, or his own, except for the damp pebble-strewn sand. Fuck it, he thinks, and drops Eren’s clothes atop some tufty grass. He sits down in the sand to wrench his boots off, then begins tugging at his straps and gear, eyes raking greedily over Eren’s lithe body and long legs. He appears to be purposefully keeping his back to Levi, firm ass flexing as he cranes his head to watch Levi undress.

“So what’s this in aid of?” Levi asks, gesturing to the lake, resplendent with the shimmering deep green and brown feathers of the mallards and the crisp white wings of the snow geese.

“I don’t know, really,” Eren says, scooping up a handful of clear water and trickling it over the back of his neck. It runs in rivulets between his shoulder blades, and Levi can feel his mouth watering. “Just felt like coming to the lake.”

“Mm.” Levi wades into the water, biting out a curse at the frigid temperature, and presses himself up against Eren’s backside, arms snaking round to hug the warmth of his body. “It’s fucking freezing.”

“Yeah,” Eren agrees, letting Levi tug him backwards.

He strokes the firm planes of Eren’s stomach for a while, nosing Eren’s hair aside and pressing kisses to the soft skin at the nape of his neck, snuggling into his warmth. Eren shudders in his arms, and gently caresses the backs of his hands as they explore. Levi’s cock twitches against Eren’s ass cheeks, warming up again. “You look so good,” Levi mutters against Eren’s skin.

“So do you. Did you like the treasure hunt?”

“I like the treasure,” Levi replies, fingers dancing down to Eren’s groin.

Eren snorts indelicately.

The ducks and geese out on the lake are busy with the business of spring too, tussling over females and jealously guarding their chosen mates for the season. Levi watches the subtle feathery politics over Eren’s shoulder as he wraps his hand around a hard length.

A puff of air escapes Eren, misting in the cool morning, and he presses back into Levi, shifting to get Levi’s cock between his ass cheeks.

“The geese are early this year,” Levi remarks, giving Eren’s cock a squeeze.

“Mmm.” Eren lays his head back, their bangs brushing together in a tangle of black and brown. “Not many yet though.”

“No,” Levi agrees, finally sliding himself between Eren’s buttocks. He grunts at the sensation, his cock already leaking precome.

“Remember when we were at the ocean last?” Eren murmurs. “With the puffins?”

“Yeah.” Levi ruts against Eren’s ass. “ _Fuck_.” He really should have jerked off before he got up this morning, but the folded piece of paper on Eren’s pillow had been something of a distraction.

Eren gasps as Levi begins stroking his cock, setting a rough but steady pace. Eren’s hands find their way into Levi’s hair, gripping tight as he keeps his limber body still for Levi’s ministrations. He looks like some kind of glorious, tanned statue, his muscles elegantly wiry, and not for the first time Levi marvels that this gorgeous young man wants him. Levi flexes his hand, using his strength to work Eren exactly how he likes it.

“Oh fuck,” Eren moans in his ear.

“Their nesting behaviour is fascinating,” Levi murmurs. “Burrowing into the ground like that? Talented little fuckers. And the way they pair up, s’almost romantic.”

“But—but is it as talented as the geese? You know, Armin thinks they migrate—”

“Who cares what Armin thinks?” Levi grips Eren’s hip and grinds into the cleft of his ass cheeks, which are growing slick with precome and warm with friction. “Fuck, I love you.”

“Ah!” Eren’s head falls forward. “I love you too. I love you so much.”

Levi feels himself grow hot, flushing with pleasure at Eren’s words. He never tires of hearing it, never tires of the sensation of Eren hooking into his heart and breaking it wide open, of all the emotions Eren pulls from him, of the way Eren makes him feel so  _alive_. Damn it, he wishes he’d thought to bring the oil with him. He could go for a good fuck right now, could happily bury himself deep inside Eren and enjoy the view of the lake while he takes him hard and fast.

But who would have guessed Eren’s crazy crack-of-dawn treasure hunt would lead to this? Levi has all but forgotten his hunger. Breakfast can wait, he has a sexy young piece of ass to take care of. Beguiled, indeed.

“Faster, Levi,” Eren says. “Faster.”

Levi skims his palm over the slick head of Eren’s cock, luxuriating in the familiar soft velvet of his foreskin, the way his erection curves slightly to the left, the little ridged vein on the underside that Levi loves to lick, the one that drives Eren wild. He mouths at Eren’s shoulder with damp lips.

“Actually,” Eren says between gasps. “Mallards are mo—monog—monogamous too. Oh fuck, oh fuck!”

“You sound good,” Levi says. “Keep going.”

“But I still think… the geese are the most interesting…”

“Oh?” Levi twists his hand, pumping his own hips in a steady, rhythmic, fulfilling grind. His cock looks fantastic between Eren’s buttocks, swollen and red. He’d rather see it sinking deep into Eren’s entrance, slick with oil, but this is a good substitute. He releases Eren’s hip and grabs a palm full of ass cheek, loving the smoothness of Eren’s skin.

“Ah! Their migration… their migration is…”

“Eren,” Levi murmurs against Eren’s shoulder, desperate and wanting. “Why… why the fuck am I turned on by birds right now?”

“I don’t know!” Eren whines, thrusting into his hand. “I am too!”

“Shit,” Levi says.

Something very weird is going on. He can’t get the damn birds out of his head. When he peers over Eren’s shoulder, at the water-born flocks of ducks and geese, their feathers shining in the morning sun, the quacks and honks ringing out across the clear water, reminding him so much of the endless ocean— “Shit,  _shit_ ,” he hisses, moving faster. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t—”

Something startles the geese, and they take off as one, a cloud of white wings into the sky. Levi and Eren moan in tandem, and Levi feels his whole body flush in arousal. The thought of Eren describing the way they slice through the air, majestic snow geese in full flight, the gentle voice he uses just for Levi in the depths of night undulating like soft velvet over words such as nesting and plumage and –  _fuck_  – allopreening, Levi can’t handle it.

He groans and spins Eren round, finally staring into wild green eyes. Eren looks just as confused and horny as he does, chest glistening with sweat, practically hyperventilating. Levi reaches a trembling hand down to stroke his cock, and Eren takes hold of Levi’s length.

Levi leans his head on Eren’s shoulder. “Damn it, Eren, I can still heard them flapping.”

“I know, I know,” Eren says, shuddering.

“You’re so hard.”

“I’m gonna—”

“Me too.” Levi can feel heat coiling in his stomach, and the head of his cock weeps as Eren’s hand flies over it. They know each other so well, and Eren moves his hand in long firm strokes, right down to the soft hair at Levi’s base,the sensation driving Levi wild. “Eren,” he moans.

That is when he feels it. He glances over just as a soft, white feather floats down from the sky and lands upon his shoulder, the barely-there tickle glancing over his skin like silk.

Levi’s knees buckle, and practically collapses into Eren’s arms with the strength of his orgasm. “Eren!” he cries out, overwhelmed.

At some point he is distantly aware of Eren taking over from his slackening hand, continuing to work his own cock. Levi leans heavily against him, murmuring encouragement as he rides out his own pleasure, still so aware of the feather on his shoulder.

Shakily, he reaches up to grab it, soft and white and gentle. Eren moans, guessing what Levi plans to do.

Levi reaches down, and brushes the feather over the tip of Eren’s cock.

“Fuck!” Eren’s come coats the feather and Levi’s fingers, then splashes down into the cold waters of the lake.

Levi watches the spectacle, unsure which of them is holding the other up. Eventually, their breaths slow, and he drops the soiled feather into the water. For long seconds, neither of them seem able to speak.

Levi swallows, and gently twists his fingers through the hair at the nape of Eren’s neck. “Eren—”

“I don’t—” Eren interrupts, then stops. A flush creeps into his cheeks. “That was… um, different.”

Levi can feel himself turning red in similar mortification. Birds. They both just got off to birds. He peers out over the lake, staring at the ducks and geese. They’re… birds. He feels nothing. He glances at Eren, and gives his hair a tug. He takes a deep breath. “It’s alright,” he says.

A duck quacks, and they both flinch. Levi closes his eyes.

_What the hell just happened?_


	2. Big Boy (Toys)

Levi flies under an arc of arterial blood, twisting gracefully to avoid the spray. He shoots a grapple into Eren’s titan, pivoting in mid-air, and descends upon the nape of the five-metre class gnawing at Eren’s calf. His blades spin; he feels blood splatter onto his face, hot and steaming.

Levi’s focus is fixed on the movement of Eren’s titan, the minute flex of biceps and the tell-tale twitch of fingers, the signs of Eren’s intentions that Levi has long learned to read and work with.

As the pack of mindless titans swarm Eren, Levi grapples into multiple points along Eren’s shoulders and the surrounding buildings, manoeuvring to pick off the stragglers. Eren, meanwhile, rips into the heart of the swarm with focused precision.

He has so much control these days.

The battle is swift, but brutal. Eren is magnificent, and Levi finds himself almost enjoying the fight. He luxuriates in the trust they share, and the way it sends heady adrenaline pumping through his veins.

As Levi rides the final dying titan to the ground, he retracts his gear and makes a quick assessment of the field. Mikasa and Jean are chasing the last of the unexpected hoard into an alleyway, their new black gear stark against the red roof tiles of the abandoned town. In the distance, Connie and Sasha lend support to Armin, who seems to be gamely stomping out the last of his particular pests.

A gust of hot breath ruffles Levi’s cloak, and he peers up at Eren. “You alright?”

Eren grunts.

His huge titan muscles are quivering in the aftermath of exertion, the hard ridges of his abdominals flexing in time with his breathing. Levi’s gaze traces the whorls of steam rising from Eren’s shoulders as they heal from the penetrating grapple hooks, and an unbidden flush of arousal makes his cheeks burn.

Levi shakes his head, disoriented.  _What the hell?_

“We should go round up the others,” he remarks as casually as he can. “They’ll be wondering where we are.”

Eren grunts again. Levi is uncomfortably aware of those huge eyes fixed on him, pupils dilated. He risks another glance at the smooth sinew of Eren’s titan muscles, the pronounced strain of his tendons, the coiled raging strength that radiates from tanned skin—

“Damn it.” Levi pinches the bridge of his nose. “Eren, I think— _shit!_ ”

He completely loses his balance as Eren’s enormous hand snatches him up, plucks him from the decaying titan carcass like he weighs nothing. Levi ends up on his ass in Eren’s palm. His pulse races as Eren turns and starts walking.

Shit, shit, shit. This cannot be happening. Levi’s fingers flex against his will into the hot expanse of skin. Eren’s chest is heaving, as if in excitement. Levi is stretching out before he even knows it, body yearning to curl into Eren’s hand. “Eren,” he says. “I think it’s happening again.”

The adrenaline from the battle is morphing into a heady arousal. Levi can feel himself losing grip of his common sense. His cock is growing hard and he can’t stop thinking of those enormous muscles… he puts a hand to his forehead in distress. It comes away damp with sweat and blood.

The hazy afternoon light disappears as Eren changes direction. Growing concerned, Levi says in an unsteady voice, “Alright. Alright, Eren please. Put me down.”

Eren stops and lowers Levi to the ground. He pushes himself up on trembling legs, unable to resist caressing the heated pads of Eren’s fingers, and steps down into what looks to be some kind of alleyway, just big enough for Eren to fit into. Tufts of grass split the old cobblestones, and dead leaves cluster in the corners. The whitewashed walls and tumbledown rooftops of this forgotten town crowd in all around them. Beyond the alleyway, Levi can no longer hear the rest of the Survey Corps.

He adjusts himself in his tight black trousers, and grimaces. From the sound of heavy titan breathing, Eren is similarly affected.

“Eren.” He glances over his shoulder. “Are you in there? Are you okay?”

Eren’s answer is to sit himself down in the alleyway, wedging his great lumbering body between the two walls. He stares at Levi steadily, a puff of hot air coming from his nostrils. Wild titan locks fall distractingly over his eyes, dark and sultry.

Levi swallows, throat dry.

It has been a week since the incident with the birds at the lake. They’ve discussed it, of course, their strange and unexpected foray into outdoor shenanigans, but neither of them have been able to come up with a reasonable explanation.

And now here they are, in the middle of an expedition, and Levi is so turned on he can hardly think straight.

He wants Eren.

All of him.

“I need to—” Levi clears his throat. “I need to know if that’s you in there, Eren. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

There is a rustle behind him, the scrape of skin against brick, and then a huge finger lands gently on the top of Levi’s head, and strokes tenderly. He sways with the movement, cock throbbing in his pants.

“Do you want me to cut you out?” he whispers, unsure which answer he wants to hear.

The finger leaves his head. When Levi turns to check, Eren’s huge hand is clasped at the nape of his neck, as if in protection.

“Oh.” Levi flushes, unable to look away. “Oh. Right. Well… how are we going to do this then?”

Eren’s titan remains immobile for a while, contemplating. Then he lowers his hand in offering. Levi takes a deep breath and steps onto it. He’s lifted up to Eren’s chest, and at the same time Eren shifts so that he is almost reclining in the alleyway, head propped at the end.

Levi steps down onto Eren’s pectoral muscles. “Fuck,” he says, closing his eyes. He slowly begins unclasping the buckles on his gear, heart pounding at the sight of the enormous titan spread out beneath him in a blatant display of submission. Making himself vulnerable.

Levi places his blades and gear on Eren’s taut stomach. Just in case. The unexpected titan hoard may not be fully cleared yet.

_This is so reckless._

“I don’t really—I don’t really know what to do,” Levi admits. He’s so turned on by Eren (even apparently, by his titan) – but how does one even go about relations with a creature that doesn’t have a dick? It isn’t a question he has ever thought about before, and fuck having  _that_  conversation with Hange.

Eren snorts and touches the side of Levi’s head. Levi leans into the warmth. “This should probably go without saying,” he murmurs. “But even when we work out what the fuck is going on, this one stays between us.”

Eren snorts again in agreement and then – very deliberately, Levi thinks – nudges his finger into Levi’s groin.

Levi groans at the pressure. “Oh fuck,” he says, mortified. “Oh fuck, Eren, do that again.”

He can see the ridges of Eren’s fingerprint as it rubs along his front, grazing roughly over the straining material around his dick. Levi grips Eren’s nail for balance. He bites down on his lip and, tentatively, returns the pressure.

Oh god, he’s humping Eren’s finger.

Sweat sticks Levi’s bangs to his forehead. The heat radiating off Eren’s huge body and bulging muscles is too much. Levi pauses. “Give me a minute.”

The new gear Hange designed is great for war, terrible for almost anything else. Levi removes his cloak, loosens his collar, and begins unbuttoning his pants. Eren’s fingertip twitches. “Be patient,” Levi says, feeling anything but patient himself. “I’m hardly an expert on how to use a titan as a sex toy.”

Eren huffs a heated breath, ruffling Levi’s sweaty hair.

“I’m glad I amuse you.”

Levi takes another furtive glance around the alleyway, and frees his cock. His bites his lip, staring at the precome glistening on the head. Suddenly, an unexpected thing for birds doesn’t seem quite as exotic as it did a week ago. Levi imagines Eren inside his titan, surrounded by sinewy pink tendons, his erection hard and leaking, unable to touch himself because he’s so focused on Levi. “Damn, I wish I knew what you looked like right now.”

Eren’s palm flies back to the nape of his neck, jostling Levi. He cannot help but smile. Even as a titan, Eren is a bit of a dope.

“Alright, don’t worry, you can stay in there if you must,” he says. “So are we gonna do this or not? Someone’ll notice we’re missing soon.”

Eren returns his hand, helpfully holding his thumb in such a way that it is about Levi’s height. He’s basically giving Levi a thumbs up. Levi cringes – at himself, at his extremely interested cock, at Eren, at this whole damn situation – but still he steps forward.

He groans when he presses his cock against the pad of Eren’s thumb.

Eren presses back, and even though it’s about as gentle as Eren’s titan has ever behaved with a human being, for Levi it is still rough and hot and fucking glorious. Levi’s forehead drops to the tip of Eren’s thumb.  _This is so wrong._  “Keep going,” he murmurs. “You’re so warm.”

The steady massage Eren begins helps Levi to move with him, finding a rhythm against the hot skin. It’s not going to be enough, he’ll probably have to finish himself off, but nevertheless… fuck. He’s using Eren’s titan to masturbate.

For a few minutes, all Levi can hear is the rustle of his uniform straps, the unsteady rhythm of his own panting, the soft puffs of titan breath from Eren’s great nostrils.

Then Eren decides to move things along. The pressure against Levi’s front is pulled away, and he almost topples over. “Oi,” he says, trying to catch his breath.

Eren’s fingers comes around behind him and Levi finds himself being nudged forward by his ass. He stumbles a little, until he is face to face with Eren. Those big green eyes stare at him steadily, the sharp monstrous angles of his face relaxed.

Eren opens his mouth.

“Oh god,” Levi says. He covers his face with his hands.

He’s not sure he can do this. It’s all getting a bit much. Yet even this… he feels the swell of desire in his stomach, his body singing with it. His balls are drawn up and he’s shaking with the need for release. And Eren wants—?

Levi sighs and braces his arm on Eren’s upper lip, resting his forehead against it. If he opened his eyes, he’d be staring down at Eren’s tongue, staring into the mouth of death, the titan’s maw… except this titan wants something very different.

Levi screws his eyes shut tighter and reaches down for his cock. “You’d better tell me if anyone shows up,” he mutters. “Fuck, Eren.”

A warm whuff of breath makes him shudder.

“Does that thing even have a sense of taste?” he wonders. “Nevermind. I don’t wanna know.”

Eren’s giant finger strokes gently up and down his back, brushing from shoulder blade to calf, rocking his whole body, as if in quiet encouragement.

“I love you, Eren,” Levi whispers. “Every damn part of you. You know that, right? I hope you know that.”

Eren’s titan makes a… a  _sound_. It’s almost a whine. It is the closest thing to a titan experiencing pleasure Levi can imagine, and they next thing he knows he’s coming. “E-Eren,” he moans, trembling and spilling onto the titan’s lips. It’s so fucking good, Levi can hardly believe it. A tremor runs through Eren’s body. Levi feels it through his feet, deep in his bones. He shivers in return, and comes and comes, until he’s nothing but a panting, trembling wreck.

He daren’t open his eyes.

Which turns out to be a big mistake, when Eren sticks out his huge tongue and licks him.

“Wh— oof!”

The next thing Levi knows, he’s flat on his bare ass, dripping with spit.

“Eren!” Levi stares down at himself in horror, still out of breath. It’s even on his dick. “Are you—fucking—kidding me!”

Eren grunts.

“Fuck!” Levi flops onto his back and makes a highly undignified sound.

For a few minutes, Levi indulges in feeling thoroughly sorry for himself. He just came all over his titan boyfriend’s lips and then got drenched in saliva for his troubles. Now he’s lying on his back, dick out, on a titan’s chest in the middle of an abandoned town. How did it come to this? How is this his life?

Slowly, the cadence of Eren’s breathing fills his senses. It’s a little too slow, Levi realises.

He hops back up and tucks himself in. “You alright in there, brat?”

Eren’s titan doesn’t move. Levi reaches for his blades.

The thin skin of the nape slices open with ease, and Eren’s body slips out, still attached by the sinewy tendrils, shiny and steaming with internal fluids. Levi catches him, careful to keep his weapons out the way.

Eren blinks sleepily, thin shimmers of green beneath long lashes. “Hey,” he murmurs.

“Hey,” Levi says back, gaze raking over his face, the fan of shifter scars across his cheeks. “You okay?”

Eren curls into him. “I love all of you too,” he mumbles into Levi’s chest.

Levi holds Eren close and cuts the flesh away, freeing his body. His heart pounds beneath his ribcage. How does Eren still do this to him? Even after a year, even as they have learned each other inside out, even knowing Eren will be the only one for him for the rest of his life, Levi still feels like a teenager all over again every time he gets to hear Eren say he loves him.

He presses a kiss to Eren’s forehead. It’s sweltering, almost feverish. “Shit.”

“I wanna fuck,” Eren mutters.

“Of course you do.” Levi brushes Eren’s hair away from his face. “Let’s get some water into you first.”

“Mm,” Eren agrees.

Levi hoists Eren into his arms and jumps down to the ground, landing easily on his feet. Eren may have gotten taller and stronger and filled out in all sorts of enticing ways, but he’s not yet beyond being picked up and carried. He snuggles into Levi’s arms, yawning sleepily against his neck. Levi makes his way out of the alleyway, wondering how tricky it would be to shoot off a signal flare.

He is saved the trouble a couple of minutes later when Hange crashes down in front of them in a whirr of gears and cloak. “Finally!” they say. “What happened? Erwin’s about to bust a— oh hell what  _happened_?!”

Levi peers down at the sleeping man in his arms, opens his mouth to fire off some kind of excuse, then realises Hange is staring at  _him_.

Oh, right. He’s covered in titan spit.

He coughs, trying desperately not to blush. No such luck. Hange’s eyes widen at his steadily reddening cheeks. “I… well…” Levi stutters. “There was…”

“Levi. What  _have_  you been doing?”

“Nothing,” Levi says, trying to direct them away from the scene of his debauchery.

“You know, I always wondered about you two,” Hange continues absently. “If anyone could find out whether or not titans have sexual urges, it would be—” They gasp and halt in their footsteps. “Levi. You  _didn’t_.”

“You’re right. I didn’t.”

“Levi!” Their eyes go wild. They glance back at the alleyway, then down at Eren, who is unhelpfully rubbing his face into the crook of Levi’s neck . “You did! I can tell.”

Levi groans and buries his nose in Eren’s soft hair. “Fuck,” he mutters. “You can’t say anything. I swear, four-eyes, if this gets out—”

“My lips are sealed.”

They begin walking in the direction of the camp beyond the town, Levi’s gear draped awkwardly over his arm. Hange reaches out to touch Eren’s cheek. “So what was it like?” they ask. “Eren is exceptionally dexterous, you know. Did he use his finger?”

Levi is startled. “What? How did you—”

“Oh my goodness.” Hange plucks at his damp sleeve. “Did he  _lick_  you?”

Levi frowns. “Hange, please.”

They start off on some theory or other, but Levi is distracted by the sheen of sweat beading Eren’s brow. He shifts Eren in his arms and places a soft kiss there. Eren is clearly exhausted, and so is Levi, both of them swept up in the strange compulsion after the battle. Levi knows, deep down, that they could have stopped it if they wanted to. But they didn’t.

As he stares down at Eren, he feels his heart swell with a familiar protectiveness. A love so steady and reassuring he can barely comprehend it. He wants their old sex life back, the mundane one that didn’t involve weird thoughts about birds and inappropriate use of titans.

Levi is determined to get to the bottom of whatever is going on.


	3. Eren, My Eren (Pleasure)

Levi halts in the doorway to his and Eren’s quarters, startled by the candles. **  
**

Their bedroom is  _filled_  with candles. Hundreds upon hundreds of them, casting the space beyond in a hazy orange glow.

He takes a cautious step forwards, letting the door click shut behind him, a sinking feeling deep in his gut. There are gauzy drapes hanging from the wooden ceiling beams and scattered rose petals adorning the flag stone floor. A warm, sugary scent hits Levi’s nose, and he peers down to find himself holding a tray of—

“You baked cookies?” Eren sits up on the bed, a silk dressing gown slipping from one shoulder. “Wow!”

Levi frowns down at the tray in his hands. “Apparently so.”

“Aw. I love you.” Eren points at the decorations. “Look what I did!”

Levi eyes the candles, gauzy drapes, and scattered petals. “You turned our quarters into a fire hazard?”

“It’s meant to be romantic.”

Levi rolls his eyes. “Clearly.” He sighs and hunches up against the door. “Eren, I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.”

“What do you mean?”

Levi gestures to the room, then the cookies, which he remembers baking as if in a daze. He just really wanted to bake some cookies for Eren, though he’s not sure why. He still has cookie dough on his cuffs, for fuck’s sake.

“Shit,” Eren says, and flops back on the bed. The silk of the dressing gown falls open, revealing tan thighs and a hard cock. Levi closes his eyes. “I thought it was such a good idea too! Why is this happening to us, Levi? What did we—”

Levi shoves a cookie into Eren’s mouth. “Eat. You’re too thin.”

“Mmmfff,” Eren says.

“Damn it.” Levi removes the cookie. “Sorry.” He slumps back on the bed beside Eren, and they stare at the gauzy drapes, which hang above them as if they’re in a Sina noblewoman’s private boudoir. “I suppose it’s better than the titan thing.”

Eren props himself up on an elbow, revealing yet more skin, his long hair a silky curtain, shimmering a warm chestnut colour in the candlelight. “We don’t have to do anything,” he says gently, looking down at Levi.

“I know.” Levi digs the heels of his palms into his eye sockets. “Fuck,” he hisses. “You look fantastic, Eren.”

“You… have flour on your nose.” Eren kisses it off.

“Such a brat.” He uses the silk cord of the dressing gown to pull Eren close. “C’mere.”

Eren’s kiss is sweet. It’s always sweet, just the right amount of damp dewy lips, a tender tip of the tongue, the scent of his skin, the softness of his cheeks. Levi moans into it and tangles their legs up. Eren has come a long way since their first disaster in the tree, and now he’s just perfect, perfect for Levi in every way.

“Levi,” Eren mumbles against his lips.

“Mm. What.”

“You’re, uh, trying to feed me a cookie again.”

Levi breaks the kiss and looks at the cookie in his hand, hovering ominously close to their faces. “God damn it.”

“Do you want me to just eat it?”

“Ugh. Please.”

They sit up and Eren dutifully tucks into the cookie, holding his hand beneath it to catch the crumbs. Levi feels a flutter in his stomach at the sight of Eren eating his home baked fare. Why? he thinks, miserable and horny. Here is Eren in their bed looking like some kind of silk-draped siren and all he really wants to do is fatten him up a bit.

Eren waves his hand around. “So, is this a sex thing or an eating thing? Or both? These are really good by the way.” He takes another bite. “Mmm, I love chocolate chip.”

Levi shivers. “You sure do,” he murmurs, watching the movement of Eren’s mouth.

When Eren finishes the cookie, Levi fights his urge to force another one upon him, and reels him back in to resume their kiss. Aside from the weirdness, evenings like this are his favourite. When they can put the war to the back of their minds, hole up in their quarters, and just kiss and make love and be Levi and Eren. He’d never admit it to anybody, but kissing Eren makes him want to cry. It’s so beautiful. Eren is so beautiful.

“Can I give you a massage?” Levi whispers against his lips.

“Uh.” Eren stops rubbing his erection against Levi’s thigh. “Okay. Sure. Why not?”

Eren gets himself situated, silk falling in tactile folds over the supple curves of his backside. Levi thinks his mouth might actually be watering as he fights futilely with the gauze to get to the bedside cabinet and the oil. “Fucking hell, Eren,” he says. “Did you have to use three layers?”

“Technically, it’s not my fault,” Eren points out. “Did you ever speak to Hange about this whole… thing?”

“Yes.” Levi finally finds the correct drawer. “Fat lot of good it did. They said it was perfectly understandable I’d find your titan attractive, and did I want to repeat the situation under controlled conditions.”

Eren laughs.

Levi settles back on the bed, and gently tugs the silk down further, exposing Eren’s firm buttocks. He arranges the gown artfully in the crease where Eren’s ass meets his thighs, covering Eren’s most private areas, and bites his lip. “You’re gorgeous,” he says.

The column of Eren’s neck ripples as he swallows, and his eyes flutter shut.

Bending down to place a kiss between Eren’s shoulder blades, Levi murmurs, “And so warm. Always so warm for me.”

“F-fuck,” Eren whimpers into the crook of his elbow.

Levi uncorks the vial of massage oil they’ve had forever but rarely use, except in the case of pulled muscles, and drizzles some into his palm. It smells sweet and sleepy, like lavender. He smooths it over Eren’s shoulders, and Eren wriggles at his touch.

“Shhh,” Levi says. “Relax.”

“I’m so turned on.”

“I know. Me too.” Levi kneads at a knotted muscle, something they do regularly for each other, but never quite so… erotically. “Be good, and I’ll look after you.”

“ _Levi._ ”

“Shhh.”

Levi works in small circles, slowly and methodically, working the oil into Eren’s soft skin. His slender body starts to relax, muscles going slack. As Levi works slowly downwards, Eren starts moaning, hips subtly grinding into the bedsheets.

“Look at you,” Levi says. “So handsome.”

Eren whines, hips moving a little faster.

Levi follows the track of his hands with his lips, spreading his knees either side of Eren’s legs and leaning over to place butterfly kisses down the path of his spine. He starts at the nape of Eren’s neck, his favourite spot. “You are—” he punctuates his words with nips and licks “—so gorgeous. Look at you, Eren.” His lips move to the small of Eren’s back. “Just look at you.”

Eren makes a high pitched sound, face muffled into the pillows.

“Eat another cookie,” Levi murmurs.

Eren lifts his head, bleary eyed and blinking. “What?”

“Eat one, or I won’t go any further.”

“Ugh, fine.” He grabs a cookie, pleasing Levi greatly. “But you’re dealing with the crumbs.”

“That’s right.” Levi moves further south. “Be a good boy and eat up.”

Eren lets out a snort of laughter. “Be a good boy? Really?”

“Shush,” Levi says, flushing. So his dirty talk isn’t always the best. For distraction, he swipes his tongue between Eren’s ass cheeks.

“Ohhh fuck.” Eren tosses the cookie to one side and buries his face back in the pillow. Then, tentatively, spreads his legs and sticks his ass in the air.

Levi smirks. That’ll teach him. But it’s a problem for Levi too, because he’s about to start salivating at the sight of Eren prone and wanting beneath him. This, at least, is not weird to them. He drizzles a little more of the lavender-scented oil onto his hands and rubs it into Eren’s skin, palming his buttocks and parting them, careful to keep Eren’s entrance free of the oil. That bit is all for Levi.

Heart racing at Eren’s needy moans, Levi uses the tip of his tongue to gently lick Eren’s perineum, teasing where it meets his tight balls. The scent of the lavender oil and Eren’s soap is pleasant, and Eren’s clean-shaven skin feels luscious beneath his tongue. “I love how clean you are for me,” Levi says. “Always so ready for me.”

Eren says something muffled and incoherent into the pillow, spreading his legs even more.

Levi just wants to make him fall apart at the seams. So he gives Eren what he needs, and delicately tongues his entrance.

“Oh god, more,” Eren raises his head and gasps. “Levi, please. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Levi sets back in, drooling deliberately, using his tongue to tease and pleasure, and Eren writhes and begs and twitches. He massages Eren’s inner thighs, rubbing his fingertips over Eren’s balls and the base of his cock, and enjoys the way Eren turns to mush at his ministrations. He’s always been half-decent at this stuff, but having Eren fall apart under his lips and tongue has taken oral sex to a whole new level of enjoyable this last year.

Levi loves pleasuring Eren, however he wants it.

He just wishes he’d eat that damn cookie.

A thought occurs to him. “You know what we need?” Levi says, pausing to catch his breath, lips soft against Eren’s ass.

“Mm,” Eren murmurs, managing to sound both sleepy and desperately horny. “More oil?”

“No,” Levi replies. “Cake.”

“Mmm—wait, what? Hey, what are you—Levi!”

“Listen,” Levi says, hopping on one foot as he tugs on his pyjamas. “I will be right back. Cheesecake is your favourite, right? It won’t take long.” Levi opens the door. “Just stay where you are.”

“LEVI WHAT THE—”

The bedroom door slams shut on whatever Eren was going to say, and Levi hastens in the direction of the kitchens, trying to remember the ingredients for cheesecake. Well, cheese, for a start. Wait, is cheesecake technically a cake? Never mind. Maybe strawberry cheesecake? Ooh, strawberries! Eren loves strawberries. Levi quickens his pace.

This time of night, Levi doesn’t expect to find anyone in the kitchens, so seeing Mikasa sitting at the table gives him pause. He double-checks his erection has gone down, clears his throat, and heads directly for the pantry.

“Good evening, Captain,” she says after a moment.

“I’m making a cheesecake,” Levi informs her. “For Eren.”

“Oh.”

Levi grabs the necessary ingredients and begins lining them up, neat and orderly, because it’s the only way he can bake or cook. He ties on his usual apron, fires up the stove, and puts some butter in a pan to melt. “What are you working on?” he asks, seeing Mikasa writing what look to be reports. He really should warn her about doing paperwork late at night, she’ll end up like him.

“Nothing,” Mikasa says.

“Do we have strawberries?”

“I think Sasha had the last of them.”

“Fucking—” Levi stops and sighs. No point being bothered, really. He starts crumbling the biscuits into the sizzling translucent butter. The sooner he gets this done, the sooner he can get back to pounding Eren into the bed.

He’s just about to grab the whisk when two arms encircle his waist and a familiar chin props itself on the top of his head.

“Levi,” Eren murmurs. “Please leave the cream cheese alone.”

“But—” Levi frowns down at the tub of cream cheese and whisk in his hands, feeling suddenly odd. “It’s needed for the cheesecake. You  _love_  cheesecake.”

“I do.” Eren gently places the whisk and cream cheese back on the counter. “But we were—” Eren lowers his voice “—busy. Remember?”

Levi’s eyes widen. “Oh my god.”

“Hmm,” Eren agrees.

Levi clicks the stove off. “Oh fuck, what is  _happening?_ ”

“Are you two alright?” Mikasa asks.

“Yes!” Levi and Eren say simultaneously. Levi feels Eren tense up behind him, and says, quieter this time, “Yes. We’re fine.”

“Are you alright to come back now?” Eren murmurs into his hair. “We can clean this up later.”

Levi nods.

They take an awkward leave of Mikasa and head back to their quarters, quiet and unsettled. When they get back, Levi locks the door behind them and leans against it. “Eren, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Eren waves a hand and throws himself back onto the bed, silk robe falling back open like it has a mind of its own. “I got distracted putting out a fire after you left anyway.”

“What?” Come to think of it, there is a bit of a singed smell lingering in the air.

“You were right about the drapes and candles being hazardous.” Eren shrugs, then after a moment says, “Levi, come here. It’s alright. Come look after me.”

Levi peers at Eren through his mussed bangs. He is back to looking a sight for sore eyes on their bed, clearly wanting to pick up where Levi had so rudely left off. Levi wonders if he should put a stop to this, at least until they can work out what is going on.

But he wants Eren so much. He swallows. “Are you sure?”

Eren smiles. “Always.”

He re-joins Eren on the bed, stripping off his pyjamas as he goes. When he stretches out beside Eren, he finds their usual bottle of oil slapped in his palm.

“In addition to fighting fires,” Eren says, “I may have skipped a few steps. Can you just do me already?”

Levi always marvels at how easily Eren can make him hard as fuck, even at his age. He slicks up his cock, places the bottle to one side, and nudges Eren onto his back, because he feels the need to reconnect, and he wants to see Eren’s beautiful eyes.

Halfway in, he pauses. “I can’t believe I went to make cheesecake.”

“Ah!” Eren scrabbles at his ass. “Levi! Would you just—”

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, and pushes in the rest of the way, stopping to let Eren get comfortable.  _He went to make cheesecake?!_

Eren locks his ankles around Levi’s waist, the silk gown splaying out around him.

Levi cannot help but chuckle. “And you nearly—nearly set the castle on fire.” Oh fuck, he’s gonna lose it if he’s not careful. He lays his forehead on Eren’s chest and gives an experimental thrust, attempting to get the right angle. It’s not too difficult, not these days.

“There, right there.” Eren grips his ass tighter. “Wouldn’t—wouldn’t be such a good boy if I burned the castle down, would I?” he says, between gasps.

“Fuck you,” Levi murmurs, kissing the beads of sweat from his throat, moving faster.

Eren turns his head, big eyes mischievous. “Yes please,” he says, and captures Levi’s lips.

 

Later, as they are cleaning the kitchen of the half-made cheesecake, minus the awkward presence of Mikasa this time, Eren creeps up and hugs Levi from behind. “We’ll figure this out,” he says into Levi’s hair. “I’ll help. I’ll make sure of it.”

Levi turns into the hug and sighs. He sure fucking hopes so.

“This one wasn’t so bad though,” Eren admits. “And the cheesecake idea was quite sweet. Just… badly timed.”

“It was going to be strawberry,” Levi mumbles into Eren’s pyjama shirt.

Eren laughs and kisses the top of his head. “My favourite.”


	4. Speechless (Lingerie)

It isn’t until Eren drags Levi’s trousers down, that Levi truly accepts he dressed himself in stockings and suspenders that morning. **  
**

Black lacy stockings, a shimmering satin garter belt, and panties that are doing wonders for his hard on. The material is itchy where it grips his thighs, but silky smooth over his calves. “Not again,” he moans, throwing his head back against the stationary closet door in frustration.  _This is the last fucking straw._

Eren makes a sound a bit like a dying animal –  _attractive, Eren_  – and grabs two handfuls of Levi’s ass. “I’m beginning to like this unexpected turn-ons thing.”

“Traitor,” Levi mutters, as Eren helps him step out of his pants, his stocking-clad feet slippery against the tiles. Levi starts unbuttoning his own shirt.

Eren grabs his hands. “Nope. No way.”

Levi sighs, resigned to his fate.

“Turn around,” Eren says.

Levi scoffs. “What, do you expect me to stand on a box? Just pick me up, we’ll do it against the door.”

“Levi, I dropped you the last time we tried that,” Eren replies. “You’re a lot heavier than you look.”

Levi runs his palms over Eren’s tanned biceps. “Yes, but you’ve filled out a bit since then,” he remarks in admiration, giving them a squeeze. “I trust you. Fuck me against the door, Eren.”

Eren groans and sinks to his knees, feeling around in the pockets of Levi’s crumpled trousers. “Since you got all dressed up and basically lured me in here—” he licks the bare stripe of Levi’s skin between the lacy stockings and the garter belt “—I assume you have... Ah, there it is. Alright, get yourself ready for me.” Then he shoves Levi’s panties to one side, frees his cock, and wraps his lips around it.

“F-fuck,” Levi gasps, back arching.

The hot wet heat of Eren’s mouth blinds his senses, and for long moments all he can do it screw his eyes shut and pant, trying not to thrust because he knows Eren isn’t keen on it. With shaky fingers, Levi manages to uncork the oil Eren had pressed into his palm. He drizzles some over his fingers and reaches round, shoving his hand down the panties to finger himself open. Heavy breathing and the slick, wet sounds of their preparations fill the cramped space.

“You taste good,” Eren mumbles, pausing in his attentions to Levi’s cock.

Levi’s eyelids flutter open, and he stares at the shelves of the stationary closet, overwhelmed. “We’re out of number two pencils,” he observes. “Ah! Just there.”

Eren flicks his tongue again.

When Levi has had enough of half-heartedly trying to prep himself – to hell with it, he can deal with a bit of discomfort – he slaps Eren’s shoulder a few times. “Come on,” he says. “We haven’t got all day.”

Eren gets up, joints cracking. “Ugh. My knees.”

“Idiot,” Levi says fondly.

Eren picks him up by the thighs and slams him against the door. The shelves rattle; a rubber band ball falls off and bounces around, stopping by Eren’s boot. Unlike Levi, Eren has kept his trousers on, and his cock juts out from the open fly, the head shiny with precome. It’s the prettiest cock he’s ever seen, and he’s desperate for it.

Levi reaches down and rips the panties open. “There,” he says. “Now hurry up and fuck me.”

Eren kisses him deep, their lips wet and messy. Levi guides Eren’s cock to his entrance, gasping a bit as it pushes in, still tight.

“Fuck,” Eren mutters.

“Give me a second,” Levi says, gently working himself down on Eren’s length, using his back against the door for leverage. He’s proud of the way Eren’s muscular arms aren’t even trembling. Not yet, anyway, though Levi intends to change that state of affairs shortly.

Eren pants into the crook of his neck.

“You feel amazing,” Levi mutters, giving them a moment to adjust. He taps Eren’s shoulder again. “Come on, Eren. Before someone needs a fucking paperclip.”

The sensation of Eren’s hot palms through the tactile silk of his stockings is, admittedly, fantastic. Levi can’t work out if he feels sexy as hell or mortified. The frantic snap of Eren’s hips as he begins fucking into him has Levi leaning towards the former, and he cannot help but throw his head back and murmur encouragements for Eren to go harder, faster.

“This is gonna be over so quickly,” Eren groans. “Levi, I—I can’t—”

“It’s alright.” Levi can already feel his own pleasure building. The friction of his cock against Eren’s stomach and the way Eren is rolling his hips is all he needs. “Shit, it’s alright. Me too. Come inside me, Eren.”

“I love you,” Eren whimpers into his ear, then jerks violently.

Moments later, Levi is coming too. Eren holds out long enough for Levi to paint his chest with hot splashes of come, before slumping to the floor. Levi stares at the pencils and pads of paper as Eren cradles him close.

“Ouch.” Eren shifts and reaches between them. “This nearly just went up my ass,” he says, holding up the rubber band ball.

Levi wrinkles his nose in distaste.

Eren tosses it over his shoulder, unconcerned. “So.” He plucks at one of the straps of Levi’s garter belt. “Not that I’m complaining, but are we any closer to figuring out how to stop this?”

Levi closes his eyes.

If only.

 

The next time it happens, Levi is not as surprised as he should be to discover he’s now wearing crotchless panties. A very nice pair too, with a white lace trim, made of the softest cotton, luxurious around his balls and extremely convenient around his ass.

Eren bends Levi over a crate of envelopes (Erwin took on a lot more paperwork when he stepped down from active combat) and fucks him senseless.

 

Levi twines Eren’s hair around his fingers, staring at the cobwebs of the storage cellar, sweat trickling down his temples and the results of his second orgasm still cooling on his new red chiffon negligee. Unfortunately, his lingerie habit is getting rather expensive, and Eren had suggested going to someone other than Hange for help when he discovered a letter from the local cloth merchant, concerned about Levi’s growing debt. Levi had viciously shut him down at first... but that was a week ago, and they’ve just ruined yet another very pricey negligee. He sighs.  “You’re right. We’re going to have to involve others,” he finally concedes.

Eren rolls over, looking rumpled. “Who though?”

Levi thinks for a bit. Who could help them, if not Hange? Their eyes meet. Without needing to communicate it, Levi knows they are thinking the same thing; they have a couple of very smart friends they could turn to.

He pats Eren’s leg. “Alright. Go fetch Armin, and I’ll meet you both outside Erwin’s office.” He pauses. “This ought to be suitably humiliating.”

Eren kisses the top of his head. “Probably less embarrassing than waiting around to see what’s next. It could be anything. Whips and chains, public sex, mud wrestling…”

“Hell.” Levi hops up and reaches for his trousers. “Get a move on, Eren.”

 

Levi knocks on Erwin’s door, idly sorting out a wedgie and mentally preparing himself to explain the whole horrifying situation. He hears the usual, “Come in.”

He opens the door to find not just Erwin, but Hange, Armin, and Mikasa in the commander’s office too. They appear to be having a meeting, sitting in a circle with stacks of paper in their laps.

“Levi?”

“This is convenient,” Levi begins, wanting to just get on with it. “I suppose it won’t hurt if Mikasa knows about this too, the more the—” Levi stops, registering the expressions on their faces.

All four of them – even  _Erwin_ – look suspiciously alarmed. Armin is flushing bright red. Mikasa is hiding behind her scarf. Hange is fidgeting and glancing around the corners of the room as if suddenly fascinated by dust.

“What are you all doing?” Levi asks.

As one, they try to move the stacks of paper out of his reach.

Armin is too slow.

Levi grabs the pages from his hands. “What’s this?”

“No, don’t—” Armin says weakly.

Levi squints at the neatly handwritten words. “After the surprisingly sensual treasure hunt, Ellen and his lover Rivaille stand naked in the lake,” he reads aloud. “The love-struck fluttering of mating migratory birds all around is mirroring the pounding pulses of their hearts and the torturous need in their turgid—” Levi stops. He feels himself go cold. “What is this?”

“Um,” says Armin.

“Arlert, what the  _fuck_  is this?”

“It’s a short story,” Hange helpfully points out. “Though perhaps you’re right about him over-relying on alliteration, Mikasa.”

“Oh, there you are! Levi, I can’t find—” Eren stops in the doorway. Levi can sense him assessing the scene. The mortified look on Armin’s face, the guilty looks of the other three, and Levi’s own rapidly growing rage. “Er, is everything alright?”

Levi thrusts the paper at his chest in answer.

Eren reads under his breath for a few moments. “Who are Ellen and... oh my god,” he says suddenly. “Levi, this is—  _oh my god_.”

“What’s wrong?” Erwin asks.

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong,” Levi says through gritted teeth. “You, all of you, have been writing stories about us.”

“They’re not about—”

_“I’m not done yet!”_

Erwin snaps his mouth shut.

Levi snatches the stack of paper back from Eren, crumpling it in his hand. “You know how I know they’re about us?”

Erwin arches an eyebrow.

“Because we,” Levi gestures between himself and Eren, “have been  _living_  them.”

“I’m sorry?”

Levi scowls at Erwin. “Does your story feature stationary closets and me in expensive lingerie by any chance?”

Erwin’s mouth drops open. “How do you--”

“How do you  _think?_ ” Levi lifts up his shirt, giving them all a spectacular view of the lacy red ruffles of his suspender belt, snug around his abs.

“Okay!” Eren says, stepping in front of Levi. “Okay. Um. Clearly something very, uh, strange is going on here.” Eren pauses and scowls, as if the situation is only just dawning on him. He whirls round. “Hang on, what the hell, why are you guys writing stories about us?”

“Well.” Erwin clears his throat and sits up straighter in his chair. He gestures to the four of them. “This is the Survey Corps Creative Writing Club.”

There is a brief pause.

“Oh, that’s just perfect!” Levi says, pushing Eren aside. “Just fucking perfect. I’m going to eviscerate every single one of you.”

Eren steps back in front of him, but he looks flushed with anger as well, and Levi feels a sense of solidarity.

Armin glances at Erwin. “We, um, call it the SCCWC for short. This month’s assignment was to practice writing erotica. It wasn’t deliberately about you, but original characters are quite difficult, and we… well, we  _did_  change the names.” He pauses awkwardly. “You’ve been living the stories?” Armin stares at the paper in Levi’s hands, his cheeks going a bright red. “The lake and the stationary closet and the massage and the…” he trails off.

As one, they all turn to stare at Hange.

“Oh,” Hange says, looking down at their crumpled story. “Oh dear.”

“Four eyes.” Levi can feel his temper beginning to spiral out of control. “When I came to you. When I told you what happened with Eren’s titan, did you not think, for one fucking second, that this  _might_  have had something to do with it?” He waits for an answer, one that is not forthcoming. “ _Hange!_ ”

“Well,” they reply, fidgeting. “In my defence, it was also logical that you might be attracted to titans—”

“Oh my god!” Levi throws his hands in the air and turns round. “Eren, don’t let me murder them.”

“Can’t promise that right now,” Eren mutters.

“So you’re…  _not_ attracted to titans?” Hange ventures.

Levi’s rage is incandescent. He scrunches up the wad of paper and launches it like a weapon.

“Ow.” Armin rubs his forehead.

“Oh, don’t get me started on you, Arlert.” Levi scowls. “You are  _very_  strange.”

“Yeah.” Eren shifts from side to side, giving his friend a hurt look. “How could you invade our privacy like this? And... birds. Really Armin?”

“He didn’t know, Eren,” Mikasa murmurs.

“Oh. Oh god!” Armin buries his face in his hands. “It was meant to be erotic imagery,” he says in a muffled voice. “I didn’t know it would come true.”

Erwin nods. “Quite. Now, let’s leave Armin—”

“Erwin, how  _could_  you?” Levi interrupts, betrayed beyond belief. “I expect this crap from Hange, but  _you?_  I have garter burn!”

Erwin shoots him an unimpressed look, as if Levi is behaving a bit dramatically. “I was simply supporting creative participation in the corps and an interesting team building project.”

“I. Have. Garter burn!” He’s already furiously undoing his trouser buttons to prove his misery. Eren grabs his wrists and plucks them away from his crotch.

“In my defence,” Erwin continues. “I was working on a recruitment speech at the same time. I may have taken some, er—” he coughs, finally having the grace to look embarrassed “—slight inspiration.”

“Huh?” Eren says.

“You know,” Armin explains, still muffled into his palms. “That advice when people get nervous, to imagine the audience in their underwear.”

“Ohhh.”

“Why just  _me?!_ ” Levi practically screeches. He wishes he’d chucked the paper at Erwin instead. “You couldn’t have written Eren into some lingerie as well?”

Erwin simply gives him a long-suffering, infuriatingly knowing look. “Are you telling me you didn’t enjoy it?”

Levi splutters. “Fuck— fuck you!” He extracts himself from Eren’s restraining arms and storms over to the nearest window, fuming. After a moment he says, “And we’re out of number two pencils as well, you asshole.”

“Noted.” Erwin scribbles this down.

Levi is uncomfortably aware of the whole room’s scrutiny, even Eren’s. He’s not exactly sure why he’s so furious, so he chooses to stand at the window and scowl at the courtyard, ignoring the lot of them.

Eren sighs deeply. Levi can tell he is trying to shake off his anger for the sake of peace, which is more than Levi is managing. Eren’s temper runs hot and cold from one second to the next, but he’s had years of learning to control it, whereas Levi’s is more of a slow growing simmer until it finally boils over, and then it’s difficult to escape the heat. He still wants to hit something.

Eventually, into the uncomfortable quiet, Eren says, “I’m really disappointed in all of you.”

Mikasa quietly asks, “Was _everything_  in the stories coming true?”

“Give me that.” There’s the sound of Eren rustling paper and muttering under his breath. “Some of the details are mixed up. In our version, he went to make the cheesecake in the middle of— oh, there’s more. Hey, Levi, the stories aren’t exact! Maybe it was more of a thematic influence? Okay, so we stopped here, and we definitely didn’t do  _that_ —”

“Eren, I’m so sorry.” Thank fuck she interrupted him.

Eren pauses. “It’s okay, Mikasa,” he tells her after a moment.

“It’s not okay!” Levi says, still refusing to face the room.

“It’s not okay,” Eren continues smoothly. “But… I guess you didn’t know so…”

“They  _should_  have known,” Levi points out.

Eren grunts in frustration. “You  _didn’t_  know,” he says, overruling Levi. “But also, maybe… writing sex stories about us was a bit, er… well, it’s really fucking weird, for a start.”

There’s an uncomfortable pause. Levi can think of half a dozen terms he’d use: an invasion of privacy, abuse of trust, betrayal of friendship,  _humiliating_ … but even worse, he feels deeply unsettled. As if the people he’s closest to think his and Eren’s sex life is so utterly dull that they simply  _had_  to spice it up with their shitty stories. Is that what Eren thinks, too?

“Okay,” Hange says. “So let’s say hypothetically you  _were_  attracted to Eren’s titan—”

It is only Eren’s heroic leap across the room that saves Hange from bodily harm.  

 

That night, once the dust has finally settled and apologies and promises have been extracted from the members of the Survey Corps Creative Writing Club, Eren deliberately takes his time putting their quarters right and getting into his pyjamas. He glances over at the threadbare sofa beside their fireplace, where Levi is staring at a book, glassy eyed. He hasn’t turned a page in fifteen minutes.

It takes a while to sort through the various bits of lace and silk and satin that Levi had – without Eren’s notice and from goodness only knew where – amassed over the last couple of weeks. He finds them under the bed, tucked away with the training gear, even folded neatly behind the bathroom sink. Eren lets his fingers caress them, a touch nostalgic, but judging by the blank expression on Levi’s face, he’d better either burn them or donate them. Eren decides on the latter, and once he’s sure he’s gotten everything, he ties it all up in a sack and places it in the bottom of the wardrobe to be dealt with in the morning.

He joins Levi on the sofa, sinking into the loose springy material, and reaches over to run his fingertips through the bristly softness of Levi’s undercut. It’s still damp from the long shower he'd taken earlier.

“Hey.” He feels a bit uncertain.

“Is that what you want?” Levi says abruptly, picking up some train of thought mid-sentence that Eren isn’t privy to.

“Hm?”

“That stuff. You know.” Levi glances at him, then looks away. He gives an awkward shrug. “Exciting sex stuff.” He clutches the book a bit tighter. “I’m not… I don’t know if…”

Eren interrupts. “I just want you,” he says softly.

Levi deflates a bit, damp bangs covering his eyes as he droops over his unread book.

Eren edges closer, shuffling along the sofa until his feet are tucked behind Levi’s calves and his body is scrunched up next to him, their pyjamas clashing – Levi’s the standard military issue ones he’s had forever and carefully maintains, Eren’s the fancy pair in garish colours that Jean bought for him with his promotion pay as a joke, the pair that Eren secretly loves.

“Levi,” he says, thinking over what he wants to say. It’s not something they’ve ever discussed before; not something they’ve ever felt the need to discuss. “Our sex life isn’t boring. It’s never been boring. Not to me.”

Levi frowns. If Eren didn’t know him so well, he’d start feeling insecure himself. But he knows they’re scratching at a whole bunch of Levi’s insecurities instead; he’s too old for Eren, he’s stealing Eren’s youth, he’s too tired and stressed to give Eren what he needs, Eren is going to wake up one day and realise he can do better, and a lot of other ridiculous things that make Eren wish he could just crack open his heart and show it to Levi.

Since that’s not an option, he offers the man he’s loved since he was fifteen years old the next best thing instead. “Hey, Levi?”

“Hm?” He looks exhausted.

“Shall we have an early night?”

Levi glances at him from beneath his bangs, eyes watery. He gives Eren a soft, wry smile.

“You know what? That’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated <3


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